The Lesson

Chaos ruled OK in the classroom
as bravely the teacher walked in
the nooligans ignored him
his voice was lost in the din

'The theme for today is violence
and homework will be set
I'm going to teach you a lesson
one that you'll never forget'

He picked on a boy who was shouting
and throttled him then and there
then garrotted the girl behind him
(the one with grotty hair)

Then sword in hand he hacked his way
between the chattering rows
'First come, first severed' he declared
'fingers, feet or toes'

He threw the sword at a latecomer
it struck with deadly aim
then pulling out a shotgun
he continued with his game

The first blast cleared the backrow
(where those who skive hang out)
they collapsed like rubber dinghies
when the plug's pulled out

'Please may I leave the room sir? '
a trembling vandal enquired
'Of course you may' said teacher
put the gun to his temple and fired

The Head popped a head round the doorway
to see why a din was being made
nodded understandingly
then tossed in a grenade

And when the ammo was well spent
with blood on every chair
Silence shuffled forward
with its hands up in the air

The teacher surveyed the carnage
the dying and the dead
He waggled a finger severely
'Now let that be a lesson' he said

by Roger McGough

Comments (129)

Astounding imagery....a teacher who takes no nonsense....as I believe the violence depicted is analogous.. Silence shuffled forward with its hands up in the air...order in class reigned at last.
A masterful use of irony to denounce violence in schools. I see a connection between this poem which tells the story of a teacher going amok and a Chilean movie, Relatos salvajes, which tells the story of various people on the edge of a nervous breakdown (this is an understatement) . A brilliantly outrageous way to use violence so as to make it visible
this is is hahahahhhahahahhahahhahahaha i will put A COPYRITE claim as this contains violence. i hated it because it had so much violence and the teacher should get arrested. this is a fantastic news source
this is a amazing poem i really enjoyed the part where they raped all the black s
It is amazing how many people have missed the point here. I look forward to telling Roger McGough how I used this funny poem in class.
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