The Neverending Story

I never saw you in person.
I never talked to you in person.
I never looked at your picture when we started being friends.
Because all i thought is that this will have an easy end.

It was such an easy friendship.
We text. We talk.
we enjoy each other's company.
We enjoyed the conversations, especially me.

You were my distraction
My perfect distraction.
Then one day, something crossed my mind,
On a sunday, my ‘what ifs' told me, will you ever be mine?

I ignored the feeling, though
I think of it sometimes,
But who will be able to avoid
this lovely crime?

We spend conversations
Long and meaningful.
Til one moment, you called my name in full.
I asked and you just told me that three-word statement

I wondered if it's true,
Or if it's really you,
So in order not to screw,
I also said ‘i love you too'

Those words were meaningful to me.
Heavier than the heaviest monkey.
And so i wondered ‘will we ever be..? '
Again i contradicted myself. Foolish me.

The story continued for a long while,
Until that moment, that one night.
You told me if i ever knew,
that my friend loves you, too.

I was stunned, surprised and.. ‘ i don't know'
And i asked you,
‘have you fallen, too? '
You told me you haven't...yet.

I tried looking for the right word for what i feel
But that was too heavy, the feeling is real.
For the first time, i felt the regret
Of not telling you the feelings i tried to forget.

I felt like ‘ woah, why didn't i realize this before? '
My heart would say,
‘hey, your heart fluttered,
but you just closed your door'

It's too late that i realized,
That love was already right there before my eyes,
I blinded myself and tried to fight
The feeling into goodnights.

by Elimar Pingkian

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