The Battle Of Gardenloo
It was a heroic battle
history will attest to that.
There was bravery and there was loss of life
that will not soon be forgot.
I woke before dawn
and put on my armor in the half-light.
I picked up my knife and shoved it into its sheath
hanging from my wide leather belt
and I picked up my special eye shield
to protect me from the blinding blazing sun.
I knelt on my knees
and I prayed and I prayed for victory
but I soon began to sweat.
I knew I was outnumbered and would be beset on all sides
but duty called and I must answer
so I did what a good soldier must do.
I got up off my knees and answered the call.
Waving goodbye to all I love and hold dear.
I marched out to the battlefield
where I met the opposing forces that ranged all around me
with nothing but a hoe in one hand and a rake in the other.
Though they were well-entrenched,
the weeds fell and I took no prisoners.
By evening I had killed them all- -
and won single-handed the Battle of Gardenloo.