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To Whom Does It Benefit
(February/'47 / Connecticut, USA)

To Whom Does It Benefit

Poem By Lawrence S. Pertillar

No one's steps taken to achieve,
Are done without many lessons to learn.
And some to repeat with no getting of sleep.
With many times sacrificing food to eat.
With tears to weep a plenty.

'Oh comeon, please. Stop being so dramatic.'

Success wanted with a wish,
Takes more than the thinking of it.
And those who discover a fame to gain,
With their names engraved in frames to proclaim...
To show and expose to boost their egos,
And unable to let that ego go...
Find out too late what others have found,
One with a displayed ego...
They would rather not be around.

'You have fame.
Maybe not the fortune.'

Go ahead, rub it in.

'No. Seriously though,
Why aren't you making your success to others known? '

Why?
So others can decide,
My success to achieve was fed on ego?
And not some painful rollercoaster ride?
I already know those with egos.
But to whom does it benefit,
If I flaunt what I've done to get nothing out of it.
Nothing that makes me feel more accomplished.
You have no idea the cost I paid,
Without giving up my soul to those evil.

'But you are,
Famous.
You should share how that was done.'

Oh.
With a crawling on my knees.
Enduring misdeeds.
Drying tears cried after being deceived,
By those I thought close in relationships.
Only to find out with other folks,
They were hugging and kissing...
And being 'more' passionate.
My success to get took many lessons to learn.
With reality to face and my own forgiveness to earn.

'Well...
Whether you want to admit it or not,
It seems to me you were the one to benefit.
And 'now' I can understand,
Those lessons you were taught...
Wouldn't allow you to feed an ego.
An ego would have had you committing many sins.

That's what I'm saying.

'No. That's what I said.
And I'm glad with me you shared your story.
It sounds like mine.
But I thank God I'm not devoted,
To achieving that kind of success.
I would find other ways to get your mess off my chest.
With less patience.'

That's why I keep any success I've achieved,
To myself.

'I hear you.
Because I would have been much more dramatic.
And found myself performing in prison.
Hopefully not for life.'

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