LC (Friday 16th October 1987 / Alexander Hospital, Redditch.)

Too Much Free Time Now

Ok, so what.
It's in the past.
Not much to be done about it now....
What are you talking about?
You KNOW im sorry!
I've said it like a hundred times already.
Ok, so what.
It's in the past.
Not much to be done about it now.
Shit stirring!
Me?
I love you.
I only wanted the beauty i see in you to be seen,
whats the point? they said.
why let him get away with more than everyone else? they said.
I only wanted them to see the beauty i see in you.
Ok, so what.
It's in the past.
Not much to be done about it now.
I sometimes wonder if you ever had really trusted me,
Or if you had just pretended for fear of being alone.
I think at the start it must have been the later,
But now i remember tender moments when i could feel you letting me in,
Letting down your guard,
Showing more beauty within.
But I've ruined it now,
The hate in your eyes, the cool hard anger in your voice,
It's all i can think and dream about.
Ok, so what.
It's in the past.
Not much to be done about it now.
It's been over a week now,
It's been over three years since i went this long without speaking to you and before those three years i'd never even met you.
I cant seem to remember how i lived before.
When you dedicate most of your time to someone,
then you ruin it so that that person is no longer round,
your left with alot of free time on your hands.
How am i going to fill that time?
'Blood flows thicker than water'
O well, what can i say?
It was my own fault... i never should have told.
Ok, so what.
It's in the past.
Not much to be done about it now.

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