Tortured Dead

i was raped 3 times
sumtimes 3 hours straight
for 4 days
when i didnt do what they wanted
they beat me
untill i blacked out
everytime they raped me
i wish i was sumwhere else
i wish i was back home
i was a rebel
it wasn't my fault
or so i thought
i always put myself
into everything i did
maybe thats why it happened
after they finished eachtime
they would torture and chain me
to the floor
so i culdnt get away
what finally made me do
what they wanted
was i had a dream
dat if i just let go
they wuld let me leave
i dreamed dat i was dead
when they let me go
i crawled back
bloodied and bruised
fighting the drugs they had me on
i didnt go straight home
i thought my family wuld dis-own me
if they knew what happened to me
like it was my fault
i dont know anymore
maybe it was
maybe it wasn't
i didnt know right from wrong
i just bottled it all up
feeling tortured dead
feeling outta my body
feeling like i dont belong
where did i ever belong
i didnt want to be around u
koz i always bring u down
i always slipped out
before u were there
knowing dat no one kares
im just a tortured soul
u wont want me in ur life
y wuld anyone want me
i so worthless
im sick of what happened to me
it keeps coming bak in nytmares
i cant deal with it
sometimes i wsh i wash dead
so i wuldnt have to deal
wit this shit
how many times
do i have to say sorry
dat i didnt mean it
dat i em worthless
deep down inside
im warped and twisted
i wish they tortured my dead

by simi faey

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