When We Go To Heaven
Poem By Professor Poetry Hound
When we go, do we all have to play harps? If we do,
I'm assuming we'll instantly know how to play them,
right? It's not like we'll have to take lessons or anything,
right? (cause you know what drudgery that can be - all
those scales. Ugh!)
Reason I'm asking is that, well, do you think I might
ask (politely) if I could forego the harp and instead have
a Hammond B3 organ along with the instant ability to
play it? That would be so cool, especially through
Leslie speakers! In real life, the B3 is soooo heavy, but
I figure in heaven I won't have to worry about that,
either because everything will be very light or because
there will be roadies to move things for me. Am I being
presumptuous? I mean, maybe everyone in heaven will
be too lazy to want to move equipment around.
So I was thinking - tell me if this is too farfetched -
maybe we could get some people from hell to do it, you
know, like on a weekend pass from their boiling
cauldrons. Just the ones that deserve a break, you know.
Not murderers or anything, maybe just a couple of
shoplifters or something. They'd probably think hauling
around musical equipment would be like a paid
vacation after being impaled on pitchforks or bull-
whipped or whatever. I don't know, just a thought.
What do you think?