Who Am I

I reject the idea that you learn who
you are in high school.
I've been here for three damn years
and I've never been further from truly
knowing who I am.
I lost my best friend,
I'm afraid to talk to my mom,
and my grades have become more important than my mental stability
(something in which has grown
entirely too frail over the years.)
I hate people,
but I want fiends.
I'm an ass of a person
with a conscience that rains over me.
I don't need anyone,
but I need him.
I'm going insane,
but I'd never speak a word of it.
I'm a god damn storm cloud
rolling over in hopes of creating
a rainbow.
I reject this concept of loving yourself
before you can love anyone else.
I've despised myself for years,
but when he looks at me,
I forget why hating myself was ever like.
I reject the fact that adults
possess the power to minimize
my feelings.
thing I feel is valid.
don't tell me I'm not in love.
don't tell me I'm not stressed,
and don't you dare tell me I have
nothing to be sad about.
my scars are not proof of survival,
my riddle body is not so poetic,
but the fact that they exist
proves that I was once very sad and
very sick.
i reject the belief that high school
is the best 4 years of your life.
I see a future,
and I know it will be better.
I have crumbled under the weight of the world
far too many times,
but I have the strength of a thousand mountains
inside of me
and I will do whatever it takes
to make my future a hell of a lot
better than this.

by marielle indyg

Comments (1)

A few thousand years ago, I was in high school too. I am still learning who I am. With the strength you describe, you will indeed be fine. Thanks for sharing Peace