(19/03/91 / Salford)

Why Am I Like This?

When I sit and write this,
Comforting tears on my face
I think about the year
Oh such a waste

People look people stare
They remember my crying
They all start to glare
The smile I fake, then the tears I make

When I look in the mirror
What do I see
A fat, ugly, shy nothing
The only one who can see it is me

I look down my body,
I just see fat
Not the personality inside me
I feel like such crap

No-one will tell me
Why I am like this
Why I am such a freak
The person inside me I miss

Where are the laughs and smiles?
Here right next to me
But I can't hear them
They feel distant from me

I want to be out there
Talking, laughing, joking
But that is my nightmare
I'm not worth it

Having to talk
I feel so sick
The words come out
Why do they take the mick?

I want to hide
But I have things inside
They want to come out
They can't come out
They won't come out

Why am I like this?

by Becky Ginn

Comments (1)

Becky....even at the ripe ol' age of 44 I have bouts of 'Why am I like this? ' This is a wonderful poem of self-exploration. We revisit these times in our lives, unfortunately....and then sometimes - we are so high on life....that the times we question our self worth are like a very vague and distant memory. Keep writing....keep processing....keep building the masterpiece that is your life.