MN ( / )

~why Do I Feel Responsible? ~

I still have dreams that haunt me.
I'm back there as a child.
I see the drinks, the drugs and all.
I watch our family be defiled.

In my dreams I try to help you.
I try to stop the pain.
The stress of changing whats been done
is driving me insane.

I know that I was little.
I couldn't have changed a thing.
Then why do I feel so responsible
for almost everything?

I feel I should have told you
I hated how we were.
It hurt to be so hungry.
I was afraid, alone and unsure.

I know I was only one of five
and we all went through the pain.
I just can't keep from going back
and feeling it all again.

If only I could have stopped you.
I could have saved you from the drugs.
I could have held you and begged of you.
But, oh yeah........you hated hugs.

I try not to visit back there
but my dreams go where they may.
Each night I take a step back in time
I hear a little girl say......

Why do I feel responsible?

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Comments (2)

It was not your responsibility Mary, they were older and more adult than you and should not have put the pressure on such a young head. I know it's hard to forget, but those days are gone and you have to look to today and the days to come. May your days be filled with love and sunshine. Love Ernestine XXX
The past often comes back to haunt us. Its how we deal with those thoughts that can change how we FEEL about them. Love, Fran xx