Jealousy

I stare out
Into his face
As he talks to her
As he laughs with her
As he sits content to be with her
Jealousy boils
Deep within me

But I feel no real shock
For I’d already noticed
Her prettiness
Her great personality
And how
Even as I sat
With jealousy tearing away at me
Her jokes still managed
To make me laugh

So as I stared
At his glowing face
My heart broke
For even though
Deep inside me
I knew
That I wasn’t
EVER
Good enough for him
My heart still had
Wished
Dreamed
And hoped
That he would look at me
The same way he was looking at her

She sits there
So beautiful
With her blazing red hair
Slightly lifting in the breeze
Unconsciously
I touch my own hair
And feel disgusted by its shortness
By its plainness

Jealousy tears my soul up
It eats at me
Never letting its hold loosen
I cringe
But the smile stays on my face
For if I let my smile vanish
Nothing would keep my true feelings
From surfacing

So I sit there
Afraid to leave them alone
Afraid to let their talk expand
Afraid to let my jealousy
Explode from me

For if it did
Nothing could keep me
From choking her
Until all the air
In her pretty little body
Left

by Meshellae Payne

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