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Will I Still Go To Heaven If I Envy?
MN (11-08-1970 / )

Will I Still Go To Heaven If I Envy?

Poem By Mary Nagy

I watch them from the corner of my eye.
(because I don't want them to think I'm weird)
I wonder how I could get what they have.
I wonder what happened
that made my own mom turn away.

Do they know I watch them?
Can they see the lump in my throat?
Did I blink my tears away quick enough?
Do they know?
I hope not.

I know it's a sin to envy.
I just can't stop myself.
I want to....I know how it seems.
It's embarrassing.
It's crazy to want somebody to love you
if they don't.

But, I still want a mom.
One that would come over and visit
and ask how the kids are doing.
One that offers me a hug
when she hears how I'm hurting.

One that loves me.

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Comments (9)

Will a brother do, Love duncan
The Biblical reference forbids coveting 'house or fields, ... servants, ... ox or ass, or anything that belongs to [your neighbor]' If you take any of those things from your neighbor, he can no longer possess them. No just person (or god) would call it sin to see that one's neighbor has love and to want love, too, particularly the most primary of loves. It is neither foolish, nor crazy, nor sinful. An unloving parent almost never indicates an unlovable child. The simplicity of this plaintive lament gives it enormous power.
Do you think the rent your mum left in your sould will ever heal?
We can hope. What if someone sent her this poem? As to the title of this poem, the Devil may be a tolerant character but even he would not be able to cope with your soul. Best H
Of course you will go to heaven...your poetry opens a book that tells about a character with a good heart. I totally agree with Raynette.


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