Show Me Your Way Out

Like a silkworm weaving
her house with love
from her marrow,
and dying
in her body's threads
winding tight, round
and round,
I burn
desiring what the heart desires.

Cut through, O Lord,
my heart's greed,
and show me
your way out,

O Lord white as jasmine

by Akka Mahadevi

Comments (31)

Yes RoseAnn, Life is a mixed bag. Spring is here, winter has not left us, A good poem reflecting reality,
Spring is here, yet winter has not left us. Nicely portrayed and communicated.
Liked the delicate opening line.. Enjoyed reading the write
Just been reviewing some really bad poems on Poemhunter. Then I came across your poem. Your English is good. The 2nd line: but they are freezing from the cold. You know what that's called? Pathetic fallacy. I am sure you can do better than that. Can you SEE the warmth hanging in the air? Think again! You need another verb there. I don't think you SEE warmth. (And note, you've repeated the word 'see' again in the next line. I'm sure you have a better vocabulary.) There's a lot of potential in this poem, but you need to sharpen your skills a little more. Don't let these insincere flatterers who rave about every poem get you trapped in the delusion that you are top rate. We all need to learn so much more - to craft and shape a true work of art demands discipline. Not this mushy flattery from people who don't know English (and are better off, writing in their native languages!)
Deeply felt sensations masterfully cheselled in a way that encourages the reader to take the plunge to explore the beauty of the images whose directness enables her/him to capture the essence of the whole poem. I really liked it. Though, we're suffering heatwave, I felt the chilliness of winter while reading the poem! Yet, I think that the poem addresses something deeply psychological. The opening lines are reminiscent of D. G. Rossetti's Barren Spring
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