Women Know That Old Men Have A Bad Aim

A man of fifty years or better
Approaches the porcelain bowl
Looks down to see his feet
He must now lean forward at such extreme
So as to allow him to see his toes
Just his toes
And when he does
Everything
From his chest to his feet
Including his knees
Are hidden from view
By his large and bloated belly
This means
When he wishes to relieve himself
He must take a seat to the methods
Once used as a youth
Or blindly take aim
From memory
Complicated too by a shaky hand
And a weak stream to fire
At what is now
A much smaller target than before.....

What with the bad eyes and all.....


2007 © T Sheridan

by Ted Sheridan

Comments (4)

I kind of giggle while reading this. This piece is full of humour. Great job wording this piece.
You know, Ted, I actually do lift the seat. But when I'm finished, I put it back down and sprinkle a little water on it from the wash-hand basin. They go nuts for no reason! !
hey when the lights are out just fire away and try to center it when you hear the water splash
Inspired by Danny? No! No! I mean Dannys forum posting. Wittily sharply brilliant Ted.... just another one of those everyday subjects you turn into an engaging read... t x