Pain

You say that you have felt pain?
You have no idea what pain is.
Pain is hearing, “She doesn’t
like you anymore.” WHAT?
How can so much pain be caused by
someone who is so small,
so young,
so far?
Yet I tell you, I have felt pain,
pain at hearing your name
mentioned by some ignorant
person, someone who doesn’t
know what you have put me
through. Pain? Yes, that is pain.
Pain is knowing that you will
never be mine, though I once would have been
wholly yours. Yours, though
you may never know it. That
also is pain- not being able to
say what I want you to hear.
This and more have you put me
through. This, and also the
torture of hearing from your
own lips- lips that I have longed
for, lips that I have loved in
my own way- that you liked
another guy. No, I will not
call him a man, for he is not,
or else cannot be, for he loves
you. What? Now you wish to
leave him? And for me, again?
No, I am sorry, love, I cannot
and will not endure your
tortured love again. I have
felt the pain once, and I no
longer have any desire to feel
your pain again. Enjoy it, love.
Pain. Embrace it, rather than me,
for me you will not have, and now
pain is all you have.

by James Grengs

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