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Worst Things In Life

There are some things that the mind and the heart can not process,
When they fight against each other for the right decision and path,
For you to take and walk until the next crossing arises.

In ones life you come across many hard decisions to make,
And it is your head and your heart that decide what paths to take,
If you choose unwisely then you end up at a dead end,
With no choice but to go back and start again.

At the time it might have seemed like a good choice to make,
But in the end you know it really wasn’t and tread carefully backward,
In the hope that it wont upset anyone or anything than it already has,

In doing so you tread on toes that you never thought you would,
And upset not only those around you but more importantly yourself,
And it is at these moments in life where you become erratic,
And make more mistakes and bad choices.

From here you need to tread more carefully than before,
In hope that you do not loose yourself in the process,
Now you must pick yourself up as you have no one else.

The friends you thought you once had when you needed them,
Turn their backs on you and leave you to it,
The family you thought would always be there,
Are nowhere in site.

You are alone and lost in this shadow of doubt,
Asking yourself “Do I take this path? Or do I go back further? ”
All these questions and doubts on your mind,
Start to cloud your judgement and slowly take parts of you,
Parts of who you once were inside and change you.

Sometimes these changes are made for the best,
And make you stronger than before,
Others are for the worst and change you into something,
Yourself despise more than anything in life.

All these choices become clear as you go backwards and forwards,
Left and right taking short cuts as and where you can,
And still end up in the same place you have travelled back and forth,
To escape from and you breakdown more and more.

Every time you make the same mistakes just in different ways,
And you don’t understand why or how you end up in the same place,
Breaking you down more each time until you finally give up,
And cant take anymore you start looking for ways to make it stop,
Once and for all.

No more heartache,
No more confusion,
No more hate,
Not even happiness.

As you forget what it really was all about with everything,
That has happened to you in the past,
That has eaten away at you deep inside and can not escape.

You take a bottle of pills not leaving any to spare,
You clutch the blade in your strongest hand,
And drag it along your wrists,
And wait for the pain and hurt to finally stop.

You grow weaker with every heart beat that your heart makes,
And grows slower and slower,
Until it finally stops.

As you pass away from the live you once lived,
A smile appears on your face subtle but grateful,
And you leave.

No words spoken,
No time wasted.

by Kelly Lushi

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