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You And I Have Become As A Whole:

You and I have become as a whole:
I am the giving part, and you - ask.
Because at me - you constantly watch:
You're - a glance, expectations, forecast.

You assess me, and you are my condition,
and I'm writing - into your eyes.
You erected me, like a building,
And then you yourself came inside.


***

Мы с тобой стали как одно целое:
Я - отдача, а ты - запрос.
Постоянно ты как смотрела бы:
Ты же - взгляд, ожиданье, прогноз.

Ты - оценка, мое состояние,
и пишу я - в твои глаза.
Ты меня возвела, как здание,
И сама же в него вошла.

by Liza Sud

Comments (1)

You begin with a direct statement of wholeness, a great starting point when two become one in the spiritual sense, and then you go deeper into the meaning of wholeness. I'm jumping ahead to the last two lines portraying the poet as builder of the other, and he comes inside what he has built! WOW! What a metaphor! That's a Homecoming, and it suggests comfort, belonging, the right destination. And they are artists creating each other: She writes words on his eyes so that he sees her reality, her mind. And his assessment of her becomes her condition. So they are interdependent. (The meaning is hard to put in prose but when I read your verse I understand the point immediately.) The second line has you the giver, me the asker - that interaction is central to a relationship, it's the dynamics of sharing. And that's what your poem does: describes the dynamics and exchange.