AK ( / )

You Are Mine

you are mine...
you are the only one who is mine
you are a mine
you are the only mine which is mine
you are the mine of beauty
you are the mine of childhood
you are the mine of chastity
you are the mine of love
you are the mine of pure love
you are the only mine which is mine
you are the only one who is mine
you are mine.

by Ali Khorvash

Comments (6)

Welcome, Ali. I am a lover of Persian poetry! English is no doubt your second, maybe even third, language, as it is for quite a few poets here, and I can only admire people's effort. I couldn't write a word in Farsi or any other language, I've never gotten 'round to learning one. There is a tradition in English that begins lines with the same words, to do so creates a very strong empasis. If that is done, then each line must really have something totally different to say, each line have its own, whole personality. But really, as in the Persian tradition, a love poem has one purpose-TO PLEASE THE BELOVED! I liked Raynette's comment, below, also Michael's. Hope to read more from you. I apologize for any rudeness from my fellow Westerners.
Be careful Ali. Not everything that declares undying love is truly a poem. Try to get these feelings in a few lined without using the same words over and over and over. A love poem is perhaps the most difficult thing to write for it's been done over and over and over...You get the picture. Keep writing and don't be discouraged. My advice to a new poet is to write something and let it 'simmer' for a few days (weeks, even) before you consider it done. Go to it daily an 'tweak' it a little, making it better each time you work on it. Raynette
... and maybe your second poem could be 'I am yours...'
It is so great; as you, yourself are... good luck Ali.
I love this poem.....I hope you continue to write. I am sure Shirin loved it when she read it.
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