You Didn'T See

And you didn't even see.
I looked right at you and you didn't see the pain hidden behind my eyes.
You didn't see how everything I looked at reminded me...
You didn't see how every thought tortured me.
You didn't see the pictures painted behind my eyelids,
That I saw - every - single - time I closed my eyes.
You didn't see how the dreams haunted me,
How I woke up sobbing and clutching the pillow.
But you didn't see that I never wanted to wake up from those dreams,
Because that's all I have left,
That's all I have to hold onto.
You didn't see the red ring around my eyes in the morning,
That came from a night of the words, the images, the imaginary,
Playing over and over in my head.
You didn't see me whisper the name into the stars,
Wishing a whisper would drift back.
You didn't see the promise I made,
The promise I broke.
You didn't see the new promise I made,
Not to anyone, just me and the stars and the moon,
The promise that is the only thing that gives me hope.
You didn't see...
Why?
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Because I didn't let you.

by Aimee Nell

Other poems of NELL (81)

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