You Never Know...You Never Know!

Get run over
But I’m like a James Bond
Cocktail
Shaken not stirred.
Taken to hospital
In case of shock.
The only thing I can be
Shocked or shaken by
Is the fact that...
“Oh my oh why didn’t I...! ”
Wear a sensible pair of knickers
Just like mother swore by instead
I’m wearing Agent Provocateur
See through and crotch-less
(well how was I to know)
That I was going to show the world my underwear
And not just my boyfriend who had presented me with a pair.

What will the doctors think...what will the nurses say?

The nurse tending to my cuts and bruises practically beams.

“Oh I like your knic -nacs dear... were they dear?
My hubby got me a pair just like them
For Christmas last year
(but I didn’t like them)
Haven’t got the figure no more or the derriere
So I stashed them away in my bottom drawer
For a rainy day.
(He was disappointed to say the least
But keeps praying for that rainy day) .
Look good on you though but then you’re young
Anything would look good on you.
There ya are dear...good as new.
Have fun!
And don’t let me see you in here again wearing those again.
Keep them for the bedroom!
Might even wear mine tonight
(is it raining?)
Scare the life out of him!

You never know!
You never know! ”

by Dee Wright

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