Young Man! You Just Wait Until Your Father Gets Home!
I am writing today because I am very concerned about your son, Bobby.
This year's reading curiculum includes, Charles Dicken's, Great Expectations, and Willa Cather's, My Antonia. Bobby refuses to read these books! He says he would rather read Robert E Howard and Edgar Rice Burroughs. Bobby says he is writing his own book called the Red Oak Saga and he would rather work on it.
Our Poetry curiculum includes the works of Emily Dickenson and Elizabeth Barrett Browning. Bobby refuses to read poems he says are written by 'boring, stupid, old hags'! He says he is writing his own poems about someone he calls the Banner Knight.
When I ask him what he plans to be when he grows up, he says he wants to be a superhero like Superman or Captain America. He says he wants to help people and defend our country.
Based on his nonconformity in English class, I fear he will grow up to be a criminal. He, obviously, lacks discipline at home! His behavior must be nipped in the bud. He should no longer be allowed to read comic books or Science Fiction and Fantasy books. I recommend corporal punishment, perhaps a belt or yardstick would do nicely!
America's future depends on our children's thoughts being carefully controlled. There is no place in today's education system for free thinking by our students. This leads to anarchy.
Thank you, and I look forward to seeing you at the next PTA meeting.